Saturday, September 6, 2014

Why We Are Waiting - Part 1

No, I am not talking about waiting until we got married to have sex (which we did and I believe is the right thing to do), I am talking about why we are waiting to find out the sex of our baby until the birth. Here is my slightly sarcastic and light hearted opinion (mind you, I am at 37 weeks of pregnancy) of why we waited.

When we first started telling people we are going to wait until the birth to find out the gender of our child, it was almost like I had told them that we grilled snake for breakfast. Utter surprise and astonishment filled their faces. I had been forewarned by a few friends who chose to wait that I would get odd responses from people when we told them.

They were right. 

1) “What about a gender reveal party?”
2) “How are you going to plan?”
3) “What colors will you paint the baby room?”
4) “How will you know what to use – pink or blue?”
5) “Don’t you want to find out?”
6) “You know you have to pick two names, right?”
7) “There is no way you’re going to wait.”
8) “You won’t last that long.”
9) “You’re going to break down and find out.”

This is only a snapshot of the weird responses we received.   

Here were my responses:
1)    We will have the best reveal party on his/her birthday. I don’t need an excuse to cut into a cupcake with pink icing or drink blue lemonade. I’ll do that to celebrate the baby’s birth… and I will since I have totally cut out sugar until after I give birth!
2)    To be honest, I have no idea how to take care of a newborn – boy or girl. If I knew the sex, that wouldn’t help me in advance on knowing how to care for a newborn.
3)    Lime green with touches of lavender. Seriously though, painting the nursery a gender specific color wasn’t on my top priority list when it came for preparing for a baby. We chose to do a pale gray and a cream and then decorate accordingly. I don’t want to paint a big pink mural for our baby girl only to have a boy a year later and have to change everything else. I watch too many HGTV shows not to worry about resale value.
4)    I know everything is made with a gender specific slant these days: blue car seats, pink baby baths, blue this, pink that. However, I love gray, yellow, pale neutrals, and simple patterns. Again, let’s say I knew I was having a boy this time around and bought everything blue and dark green then the second time around, I had a girl. What would I do? Keep all my boy colored stuff to reuse for baby girl or buy all new girl colored stuff? I am way too cheap for all that. This way, I can reuse what I have over and over again.
5)    Yes, I definitely want to find out. Just not right now.
6)    Yes, we have them picked out. No, I will not name my child after you.
7)    Ok, thanks.
8)    Yes, we will.
9)    We are not.

Reasons we waited:
1)    There are very few surprises we get in life. The only other surprise I can think of is when you get proposed to and that just (mainly) effects the bride. Let me preface by saying a contradictory statement, I HATE surprises. I am very Type A. I live by my day planner and make lists of my to do lists. But for some reason, I just think this is the most glorious surprise God can give us.
2)    The anticipation is great. It’s absolutely thrilling not knowing. The anticipation is not only great for us but for others as well. It’s also fun having people guess what they think the gender will be.
3)    Looking back, I can say without a doubt that I know we saved a ton of money from buying baby clothes that the baby would outgrow right away. I know Troy and I would have been suckered into buying every little bathing suit and shoe that we would never need all because “baby girl has to have it!” Now, if you have money for that, then go for it! We don’t so it’s been great for us to be able to resist and spend money on necessities.

Have I ever wanted to just know? 
Yes, definitely. There were two times during my pregnancy that I wanted to find out. One was right around the time of my 20 week anatomy ultrasound where we could find out for the first time. I debated for awhile but quickly became confident in my original decision. Then there was a time where I was about 34 weeks and my husband and I went to Target to roam and we both saw the smallest and cutest little bathing suits – some for boys and some for girls. We both just looked at each other and wanted to buy them both at that very moment. However, we just couldn’t justify buying one of each. 

Closing Thoughts
To me, if you can wait 20 weeks until the traditional anatomy ultrasound to find out, you can wait 20 more weeks. I have no problem if people want to find out. Go ahead! If you will be less stressed and more prepared then go for it. I am not mad at the way people responded or from the looks of disgust on some of their faces. Everyone has a preference on it! We may find out some day too (if we have multiples or through adoption). The few people that are pro waiting tell us that they support our decision louder and more often than the many people who have no clue why we chose to wait. The baby’s gender is out of my control anyway. I love this baby whether they are male or female. I can’t wait to see the plans God has in store for our little one and for our little family. The miracle isn’t whether our baby is a boy or girl – the miracle is the baby itself. If we would know the sex, we wouldn’t pray more for our baby in the womb. We pray every day for a healthy baby and a safe (and quick!) delivery.

***I plan on doing a follow up post after Baby Sowden is born. 

Edit: Here is the follow up. 

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